Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Reading, looking, listening, watching, thinking…I’m like a sponge, absorbing everything around me until I feel about to burst. Today I’ve read far, far more words than I’ve spoken—which seems antisocial (and maybe it is) but it is peaceful and slow to me. I like being alone—not all the time, but—there’s something very poised and at once utterly careless about it. There is no self-consciousness, and at the same time a hyper consciousness of oneself.

I’m not trying to be enigmatic here…but it’s always hard to try to explain myself.

I read these two unbelievable articles today, one a profile of the "misfit" Comme des Garcons designer Rei Kawakubo and the other about Albania’s irreverent artist-mayor Edi Rama ("He spends his days repairing the body and soul of a shattered capital and his nights prowling its streets…"). (Both are highly individual, inscrutable, ambitious, creative people…which I guess says something about me, or about what I’d like to be.)

- - - - -

It feels like a storm is approaching, and the sky is bright white but the ground and trees are dark…the air is eerily still, like a vacuum or the silent moment right before the climax of a scary movie; heavy with humidity, everything seems somber.

I like being alone, but this utter silence around me is disconcerting. (Just the clickety-clack of my typing, with heavy pauses in between sentences.) I’m tired, but it’s probably just lethargy—I need to get up and move, do something, make something…


Anonymous Alison said...

Lately, I've been desperately wanting alone time like you just described! Everything seems to cluttered--even though its summer I can't seem to figure out a routine for myself and balance things and that bothers me. Anyhow, just wanted to say hello!

P.S. I love that storm feeling! Eerie and almost anxious. Its wonderful.

3:04 AM  
Blogger T.C. said...

Hello to you too! Yeah, routines are nice--and it's also nice to break routines. Alone time is under-appreciated.

You guys climbed any more trees thus far?

Talk to you later,

12:46 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Funny you should ask about trees! Unfortunately, we are quite behind on all the tree climbing. We've been neglecting it lately. Its a little embarrassing.

1:01 AM  
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