Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Reading, looking, listening, watching, thinking…I’m like a sponge, absorbing everything around me until I feel about to burst. Today I’ve read far, far more words than I’ve spoken—which seems antisocial (and maybe it is) but it is peaceful and slow to me. I like being alone—not all the time, but—there’s something very poised and at once utterly careless about it. There is no self-consciousness, and at the same time a hyper consciousness of oneself.

I’m not trying to be enigmatic here…but it’s always hard to try to explain myself.

I read these two unbelievable articles today, one a profile of the "misfit" Comme des Garcons designer Rei Kawakubo and the other about Albania’s irreverent artist-mayor Edi Rama ("He spends his days repairing the body and soul of a shattered capital and his nights prowling its streets…"). (Both are highly individual, inscrutable, ambitious, creative people…which I guess says something about me, or about what I’d like to be.)

- - - - -

It feels like a storm is approaching, and the sky is bright white but the ground and trees are dark…the air is eerily still, like a vacuum or the silent moment right before the climax of a scary movie; heavy with humidity, everything seems somber.

I like being alone, but this utter silence around me is disconcerting. (Just the clickety-clack of my typing, with heavy pauses in between sentences.) I’m tired, but it’s probably just lethargy—I need to get up and move, do something, make something…

6 Comments:

Anonymous Alison said...

Lately, I've been desperately wanting alone time like you just described! Everything seems to cluttered--even though its summer I can't seem to figure out a routine for myself and balance things and that bothers me. Anyhow, just wanted to say hello!

P.S. I love that storm feeling! Eerie and almost anxious. Its wonderful.

3:04 AM  
Blogger T.C. said...

Hello to you too! Yeah, routines are nice--and it's also nice to break routines. Alone time is under-appreciated.

You guys climbed any more trees thus far?

Talk to you later,
Tess

12:46 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Funny you should ask about trees! Unfortunately, we are quite behind on all the tree climbing. We've been neglecting it lately. Its a little embarrassing.

1:01 AM  
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