Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Summertime, and the livin' is easy

What tends to happen with me is that if I’m under stress or undergoing unusually tough times, I’m all a-scowl and snappish for a few days and generally no fun to be around. This was the situation for several days leading up to today’s AP exam, because I was grossly underprepared and I knew it.

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(This is the depressing image of where I was cramming late last night. I purposely made it depressing and dull so that I wouldn’t get distracted.)

But. What also tends to happen is that it’s pretty unnatural for me to suppress my usual cheeriness for days on end, so when that specific pressure (such as, oh I don’t know, an AP exam) is lifted, I have an outburst of happiness and exuberance that I was trying to keep the lid on before.

Let me rewind. Obviously, I took my AP exam today. I think it went…okay…but I doubt I did very well at all. Eugh. I’m disappointed in myself for that. But regardless, I came home from school feeling sort of dejected because of the bad, long exam, and I was sad about coming home to an empty house, but when I came into the kitchen there was a message on the answering machine. It was from my mom: “Hi honey, I’m at work but I was thinking you’re done with your AP now! I hope you did well but even if you didn’t, don’t worry, what’s most important is that it’s finally over with and now you can relax and be happy! There’s some ice cream in the fridge for you. Love you dear.”

As you can imagine, my heart pretty much burst with how much I love her. And I realized that my brother is home, my sister is home, I’m done with the exam, and there is ice cream waiting for me. And it was the most beautiful, sunny glowing day.

Outside, it smelled like honey and pollen and fresh-mown-grass and thyme and mud and an afternoon barbecue. I read in the beaming hot sun for a while, and then I was a little sleepy so I lay down in the middle of my green grassy backyard and napped right there. I woke up when the shadow from the house crept all the way over to cover me, which made me chilly, so I got up (shaking various beetles and grass clippings from my hair) and went in to help my dad cook dinner.

It was lovely, and I’m very happy. Here’s a happy (tiny too!--it’s only 3”x4”) painting of a fish I did a few days ago:

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And here are some bright, cheery photos I took today when I was walking my dogs down the street:

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Anonymous oki said...

ah..how nice of your mom!
My parents just want me to do well.

and I have to say the scenery of the east coast is much nicer than that of the west, in the spring at least. Everything is just big here. I mostly just like winter here because it isn't cold and miserable. It just gets wet or windy sometimes.

6:36 PM  

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