Monday, February 07, 2005

Indigenous religions, a close call with the computer, the Great Blog War, assorted silliness

I had about 100 pages of reading from various textbooks to do for my World Religions class by next week, but luckily the material is really great. Listen to this Clyde Ford description of the Yoruba's almighty godhead:

"[The godhead is] a beingless being, a dimensionless point, an infinite container of everything, including itself."

Isn't that wonderful? I love this mythology of existence, especially that of the ancient, pagan peoples. For instance, "Western Tibet's Mount Kalais, high in the Himalayas, is seen by the indigenous people of that area as the center of the earth, a ladder into the sky, a sacred place where the earthly and the supernatural meet. Shamans therefore climb the mountain seeking visions." And my favorite unfamiliar gods that I've come across so far in my reading are "the nagas, known to the traditional people of Nepal as invisible serpentine spirits who control the circulation of water in the world and also within our bodies." My, I've really got to get a grip with this--I realize that not everyone is fascinated by that sort of thing. With that in mind, I shall tell a quick anecdote:

So, earlier today I’m sitting on a chair by the window, working on my essay. But, as is inevitably the case with me, I soon hear my stomach rumbling and decide that it is the perfect time to leave Lizzy and Darcy and instead focus my attention on a snack. Alright, nothing unusual here. I leave my iBook on the seat of the chair; I don’t close it because I wanted the music to keep playing from iTunes. I enter the kitchen. Next thing I know, I hear a crash and a yelp…er… I rush back to the other room, and lo and behold, my dog has decided to jump onto the chair so he can see out the window—unfortunately, this involves jumping on top of my open laptop.

Miraculously, the only real damage (that I could assess) was a couple of popped-off keys, but I just stuck those back on without a problem. I guess that considering all the abuse my computer gets from me on a daily basis, it had endurance built up to withstand the weight and claws of a small dog. Wow--props to Steve Jobs, once again. I feel like my brave little iBook deserves a title of some sort, such as He Who Withstands the Unthinkable or perhaps simply Sir Lap-a-top (like Sir Lancelot, get it? get it?). Anyway, crisis narrowly avoided.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Mom: Hey girls, I was just at Costco and…
B: Oh no.
Mom: …And I stocked you girls up on razors.
TC: Razor blades, you mean.
Mom: Well…no. Those blades are so expensive, I thought I’d just get you girls a bulk pack of disposable razors.
TC: Nooooo!
B: What about the soothing aqua tones?!
Mom: Huh?
TC: What about the swivel head that hugs the contours of a woman’s body?! What about the goddess within us?!
Mom: The goddess within you?
B: You know, Venus. These despicable disposable razors are the equivalent of Hades.
Mom: I’m sorry, but I got a 40-pack. You girls are going to be stuck with these for about a year.

Naturally, we’ve now taken to stealing our Dad’s Gillette Mach-3 razor blades, which conveniently fit on the head of the Venus razor. Ha: foiled again, Mom.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

I was just thinking, wouldn’t it be amazing if a Great Blog War erupted between the xanga kids and the Blogger kids? You know how America used Navajo for coding messages during WWII, and the Germans used Ultra?—well, in this war, the xanga kids’ special code would be writing messages in that “gr8 l8r ur wtf lol” gibberish, and we’d only be able to decode it by enlisting the help of some young Benedict Arnold from Xangastan.

The Blogger kids would of course win because, let’s face it, we’re smarter. Plus we’ve got Movable Type on our side--the secret weapon. All they’ve got are eprops, and let’s face it: that’s like fighting bombs with slingshots. I don't know how much further I can extend this metaphor before I enter the realm of the ridiculous...oh wait, I entered the realm of the ridiculous the second this idea entered my head! Haha, oh well.

While we're thinking funny, here's the latest list off McSweeney's that made me laugh out loud (the final two, for some reason, just kill me. I mean, who on earth...).

Then this Toothpaste for Dinner cartoon is a bit old, but I was sifting through my old bookmarks and...



And finally, the horrible joke-du-jour:

Mother: What would you like for your birthday, son?
Son: I think I'd like a tampon.
Mother: Why on earth would you want that?!
Son: Well, on the commercial, the lady said that if you had a tampon you could go swimming, play soccer, and even go horse-back-riding!

Guffaw guffaw, chortle chortle. That's all, folks!

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad your iBook is okay. Don't leave it on chairs!

However, I was a bit disturbed about your comment about movable type being good. It is not. Have you seen their pricing scheme? Anyone using WordPres would win ANY blog war. Well, I even think LJ's thing would. Anyway.

WordPress-desk003 (cameron conner)

1:50 PM  
Blogger T.C. said...

Yes, my iBook survives. And I don't really think Movable Type is all that bad--maybe in the Blog Wars it would be our undercover slightly-unorthodox do-what-you-need-to-do Secret Service thing. Man would that be a scandal when it came out in the open--the anti-war press sure would have a field day...

Heh, regardless, I must go.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sir Lap-a-Top! I love it! I detest all forms of technology, but I just might learn to love a laptop with a name like that!

Do you like Camelot, too, T.C.? My, you really do have impeccable taste! (And by that, I mean my taste :P)

9:13 PM  
Blogger Shakeer said...

Wow, your world religions class actually sounds really interesting. I had a similar class last semester but the thing was, it was taught by a missionary who had just returned three weeks before the class began from some South American country where her job was to convert people away from the religions that she was now responsible for presenting. She was also a terrible teacher who made things up.

And oh man, I admire your courage firing the first volley in the great xanga war. I've always wanted to do that but couldn't out of fear that I'd get jumped by a bunch of xanga thugs the next day at school for being an elitist. Also, have you heard of MySpace? It's sort of like Facebook which is sort of like Friendster. It's basically xanga for the popular kid set. It's not nearly as angsty but just as stupid.

Anyway, I've made peace with the xanga kids personally. They're good people who just don't know better but to post crappy things on their xangas.

11:51 PM  

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