Monday, January 24, 2005

Wrong

Things are wrong. So many things have come together and apart all at once, it's too much. I'm quietly freaking out, the way I do--nobody can tell unless you look really closely. I'm still wearing the same t-shirt I wore yesterday, and last night. I was chewing on my bottom lip until it bled. I made myself a cup of tea an hour ago, but it's still sitting untouched and cold in front of me. My hands are covered in obsessive-compulsive and intricate drawings in pen. I got out a bunch of paper and wrote down all my favorite poems from memory, because it sooths me. I haven't laughed in the past eight hours. That is how someone could tell that I am freaking out.

On top of so many other things, I just found out that I have to write six essays--six GOOD essays--for Thursday. I do not have the energy to explain.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Um.. Uh.. i thought only 2 year olds write on themselves.

-desk003

12:30 AM  
Blogger Shakeer said...

Well, if you're tired and have a lot of things to do, just remember, Jack Bauer is more tired and has more things to do. That's usually what keeps me going. That and music.

Also, that hand thing actually sounds pretty cool. You should photograph that and post it here maybe.

Anyway, I hope you manage to sort things out.

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! How awful! What are the essays on? Can I help with anything? You seem like you've already got it there, but tea and music help me the most. For Shakeer, it's listening. For me, it's singing. Whatever works for you. But MAKE SURE YOU USE IT! Sometimes I don't drink the tea and don't turn on the music because I'm so stressed. And then I get more stressed because I don't have tea and music. Don't get into that vicious cycle. Do something good for yourself, it's the only way you'll have enough to give. If there's anything I can do (Lord only knows what that would be!) please let me know! Take care, T.C.!

- Avital

2:48 AM  
Blogger T.C. said...

Desk003: I don't really know how to respond to that, except to say that I guess you thought wrong.

Shakeer: Oh, how I wish I were Jack Bauer. The pictures are all washed off my hands now, and generally when I get like that I don't really feel like photographing my hands and posting it. But next time, I'll try to remember, and you'll know what it means--it'll be like a code, hands=upset.

Avital: You are unbelievably nice, but no, there is really nothing you can do. I'll explain about the essays eventually, but not right now. Thank god for tea and music, eh?

--T.C.

4:47 PM  
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