Friday, November 05, 2004

Horrible, horrible day

Got up at the ungodly hour of six this morning (as usual) and had a hurried mug of coffee, glance at the paper, then out the door. School unbearably boring--I became dangerously close to falling asleep in History AND Spanish (though I've never actually fallen asleep in class. Unless you call a Chemistry-induced coma sleep). Then home, lunch. I wrote for a while, producing far fewer paragraphs than it SEEMED like I wrote. Checked my Gmail email from the downstairs computer because my iBook has Safari 10.2.8 instead of 10.3 so Gmail doesn't work unless I use the PC. Argh--but it's only in beta, so hopefully that flaw will soon be rectified.

Then I tried to figure out my stupid philosophy course. I want to take a college course in philosophy (or possibly mythology, but that's a whole different rant) during the Spring semester, but all the Intro to Philosophy classes either already happened (during the Fall semester) or occur at completely inconvenient hours. Because all the colleges are in Boston (UMass Boston, Harvard, Northeastern, etc.) I'll have to take the train and then subway in and out of Boston, which is in itself at least an hour, maybe 70 minutes of traveling each way. In addition, the trains all seem to be scheduled so that I'd either be 10 minutes late for class or have to arrive two hours before the class was to begin. So I'm pretty irritated about all that.

And from the compounded fatigue from the whole week (four or five hours a night, every night) my head felt like I had been clenching and clamping down on my jaw extremely hard for a long time, then relaxed it. It was THAT kind of dull, infinite and intangible, unbelievably painful headache. In addition to the jaw-clench headache, sleep-deprivation also gives me a very hot fever that makes me shiver then sweat, my cheeks red and my skin clammy. The sad thing is, lack of sleep and its consequent symptoms are by now so normal for me that the fever and headache (and oh, did I mention that yesterday I pulled a muscle in the front of my chest when I was in the shower--and oh, also, I have unbelievably cramps right now) did not strike me as odd.

So, since I was feeling like shit, I decided to take a nap. Hm. I had been asleep for only an hour (which is completely insignificant in the scheme of my overall tiredness) when I woke up and remembered I had to walk BACK to school to get to the meeting for the school newspaper. So, in that half-awake and woozy-from-sickness stupor that I know all too well, I piled on as many sweaters and coats and gloves as I could before stumbling off to school. Again.

To a doubleplusungood meeting where nothing was achieved. The editor for the section I wanted to write for in this issue left before I got to talk to him, so now I'm just going to have to email him anyway. I don't know why I even bothered going to the meeting... I guess it's because my mom is always bugging my to get involved in extracurriculars and participating via the computer probably wouldn't make her as happy as seeing my attend those stupid weekly meetings.

I might join the school Lit Mag, but I'm not sure yet. I don't really want my schoolmates reading my stories--they're too close to me, and I'm afraid other people would take them lightly. I mean, I know that they're not deep, important stuff in the scheme of things, but they are very important to me, because I put a lot of me into them. Anyone who writes would know that.

So anyway, I walked home after the meeting with my sister, who met me there, and I generally read, wrote, then cracked down on the old devoirs. Chores. Dinner. Shower. Blogging. Sleep is the next step.

Remind me to rant about my ditzy cousin J. next time--she's been staying with us since Tuesday and I'm ready to murder her. Jesus, I didn't know anyone could be at the same time ignorant, arrogant, vain, dull, racist, unintelligent, ditzy, mean, and patronizing. It's been hell, and I can tell that she's irritating my mom too because my mom is alternately very nice and friendly to J. and then she yells at me for little things that have nothing to do with me. Ach, I can't blame my mom; she's just trying to be a good host to the most ungrateful guest on Earth.

A hypnotist is coming to our school tomorrow night and I'll probably go watch the show with R. or E. Then I have to work at the hospital on Saturday, then go to Cabaret on Saturday night to watch M. and C. perform. And figure out the philosophy mess and do all my snowballing homework. And write. And do my chores. Jesus.


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